I knew this day would come because that was the plan.
I didn’t know it would feel this weird.
Suddenly I have free time. I cleaned my house and made food for the next two shifts…and I still have time.
And I am going to enjoy it.
You see, I have a tendency to fill up my schedule as if my right to live depends on my constant doing. For sure there is always something to be done but apparently I also tended to justify my worth by my productivity.
And if I was organized and good at what I did, why not?
Because we are human beings, not human doings, that’s why not. (With a nod to Kurt Vonnegut, Rick Warren, and the Dalai Lama among others).
And I still do it, just not as much. Old patterns are buggers and I have to remind myself every day that I am enough just the way I am.
Yep, every day.
So it’s a biggie that I finished all the illustrations for my book and am not lining up more projects.
In Meet the Girls I was brave enough at last to share that I was the illustrator. I have to smile at being nervous about that.
And now the hardcopy proof of my book will arrive tomorrow.
Unbelievable.
The only being not thrilled about the situation is Pippin because now I have time to practice violin again.
That’s another story…
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